Late at night, awake and worried about the coming election, I sometimes wonder what is safe to say. Such as, will we wake up one morning and hear that a blithering idiot is dead and gone, hear that someone snapped, couldn’t take it anymore and committed a horrific act?

And will some people celebrate this departure from the mortal coil? I remember the death of FDR. I also remember how hated he was and where much of this hatred was open and nasty. I grew up in Indiana and many, many people despised Franklin Roosevelt and they hated Eleanor Roosevelt even more than they hated her husband. Although I grew up in a Republican family, I was an ardent Democrat at a young age. Was this just rebellion against mid-western ways and politics or was I too well read for a 10 year old?

Books and magazines were my salvation. I was forced to go to Catholic schools and lucky for me, not forced to always obey. I was raised by my mother’s sister and her husband who took on a baby when their only daughter was 21. My mother lived in another city and called the shots about religion and education. Again, lucky for me, my aunt sort of complied. She lived with a frequently repeated warning. My daughter goes to Catholic school or I will take her from you and put her in a boarding school run by nuns. I did go to the Catholic school with attendance at Mass every day except Saturday but was free to read and educate myself though the local library. When asked if I was restricted to the children’s book section (I was 8 years old) and wanted to read a romance novelist and books about atheism, my aunt replied that I could read anything I could carry to the car.

The best way to create an atheist is to raise them in the Catholic Church. Funny how that also created a Democrat. The Catholic Worker magazine sure wasn’t a Republican voice. And I soaked up all the books I could carry home, thanks to my aunt.

Now, I cringe at so much on the news. I have grown to love the weekend movies on the hallmark Channel. No stress, no torture, happy people. That is now my nighttime TV until Grace and Frankie and House of Cards return. The elections have made me at first, crazy, now detached. I have to believe, with the last vestige of hope in me about my country that Clinton will win.

Will that victory of a Democrat make my happy? Doubtful, the vote for me, is only about defeating a Nazi, fascist maniac. Of course, I must jest, as Bill Maher might say, lest I be sued. He is not so much a fascist or a Hitler throwback as he represents the worst of us. The people who support Trump, in the South, say this about strong women,” oh sugar, you don’t mean that.”

When I was a reporter in Georgia I heard this so much that once I managed to sell my house and knew I was out of there, I began responding. The last few weeks in Quitman, I said some really rude things. Such as, you are a racist, or, I don’t agree with you. Heresy, and only acceptable if you were drunk.

None of this hindered my commitment to the Democratic Party and women’s rights plus many other liberal causes. And Hillary, I think she would be faring way better today if she had left Bill after Lewinsky. But she didn’t, and like many women, stayed with a serial fucker. And if Bill had just told the damn truth, there would have been no impeachment and maybe we as a country could come to our senses about sex and politics. My motto is – balance the budget, be a stand up leader and screw who is a willing partner.

I am sad that we have the slate of candidates that we saw in the debates, small for Democrats, and a clown car of Republicans. Where are the young idealists, the brilliant future leaders?

I don’t believe much of this gossip about Hillary. I am sick of it all, can’t wait for November 8th and I know that we must defeat Trump as no one could be a worse president. Actually, I think Shonda Rhimes would be perfect with Whoopi as her V.P.


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